There is a girl I work with who constantly – CONSTANTLY – talks about her boyfriend. Very little else crosses her lips. Said boyfriend is currently in either Iraq or Afghanistan in the Army (I forget which; I’m not always (ever) listening.) Amidst a stream of story about him yesterday, she tells me and another girls, “So now he’s upset that I’ve been getting my nails done.” I swear my eyes almost rolled out of my head. I may have audibly sighed. “Because I normally wear really light colors so he never noticed. He was all, ‘You never wear nail polish.’ And I was like, ‘Babe, yes I do. It was just light, so you didn’t notice.’ Like, the last time he saw me, I was wearing Passion Pink, that was the color, so he didn’t even notice. And now ’cause I’m wearing colors he thinks I’m trying to pick up guys.” Umm, first of all I don’t think that’s gonna pick up as many guys as your too-small tops, or that guys at all notice that. Second of all… please kill me.