Just back from a splendid weekend at my friends’ lake house up in Northwest Jersey – and severely sore from much tubing – I’ve been taking some time to reflect on what we learned there. I came up with a top ten:
- Tubing is essentially pleasurable torture. You will bounce incessantly like an oversized rag doll, clutching for dear life to a round red inflatable, until eventually, inevitably, you will rail off into the water, bouncing like a pebble and sputtering. At the end of this, you will invariably respond that it was awesome and clamor to go again. All of this will result in a cacophany of muscle stiffness in the ensuing days.
- Roll-on sunscreen is a divisive topic, as well as something already in existence (and not a brilliant million-dollar idea cooked up by my sister and I.)
- There’s no such thing as too much meat, or too much deet (100% or bust.)
- There IS such a thing as too much dub-step, and that seems to be “any dub-step.”
- When going to the bathroom in the dark in unfamiliar places, either commit the floor plan to memory ahead of time or turn on a light. Sometimes the doorway you find and assume is the bathroom is actually the stairs, and this can be disastrous without sharp reflexes.
- When a couple asks if you want to “sleep at the foot of their bed”, they do not mean to have you curl up like a beloved pet with them, but that they have an air mattress next to their bed for the taking.
- The only reason to carry your car registration on your person is if your car gets impounded a lot. If this happens to you, you’ll likely start referring to your little friend as your “reggie.”
- No matter what she does, drinks, or plays, Amy will always have to “Prove It.”
- There are four types of clouds: cumulus, nimbus, stratus, and cirrus. Nimbus are the ones you least want to see while wading in a large body of water.
- Charles Dickens is someone. Emily Dickinson is someone. Charles Dickinson is no one.
It turns out it was a very educational weekend, and none of us even had to read a book to learn these lessons!